So humans, have you guessed? Brian joins the rest of us upon this stage. One has done what I willed. I made only one do what they did. They are all bastards in their own way, but only one member of this group was made to commit crimes because of me. Was it Colin, sent by an angel no less! Jonathan, the psycho in love? Dotty the spite witch; she was a creature of the supernatural; it had to be me, didn’t it? The anonymous partner driven by a need to kill? Or maybe it was Saintly Steve who rallied against the injustices he saw? Finally, we have the shitbag Brian. The incompetent whose uselessness killed so many. I hate him; I could be bluffing, of course.
Roll up, roll on up! Money where your soul is time, humans. Who did I make kill? Who is innocent, so to speak, in this whole charade. I promised you an answer, and here it is. The answer is… dum dum dum, me! See that blob of wet sticky goo on the floor over there. You remember, we opened with it – ‘Ignore that mess over there, he once told a joke that offended some, so I have exploded him.’ That one was all me. The rest, they did it of their own free will. As many have over the millennia, they blamed me, but I do not make you do things. Own your shit humans. Your problems? Shit governance and anything else is all on you.
Until next time, be well my human friends.